Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
