We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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