MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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