omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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