We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's official drugs can't kill me
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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