I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
