It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
