Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
