Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
