This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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