so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
