We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
