I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
