yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
