why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
