her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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