S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
