Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
