Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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