I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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