new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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