At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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