I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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