Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
