You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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