try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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