that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
