Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
