Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
