ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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