I think i peed on brittanys purse
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
