i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
