I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
