I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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