I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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