Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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