I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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