O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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