i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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