i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
