Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
