Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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