I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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