I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
