Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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