my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
