she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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