i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
