fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
