We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Farmville is her only friend.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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