She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
